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On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “highly unrealistic”, he explains. You feel invincible and you’re like, ‘People will see that I stand above others … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these times of heightened ego are often coming after a “emotional downturn”, a period when he feels sensitive and ashamed about his actions, making him particularly vulnerable to negative feedback from those around him. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after investigating his behaviors on the internet – and was later evaluated by a clinician. However, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis without having previously arrived at that realization on his own. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they harbor feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they made for themselves. And in that mindset, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Although people have been called narcissists for over 100 years, definitions vary what is meant by the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states a psychology professor, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people keep it private, as there is widespread prejudice associated with the disorder. Someone with NPD will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to seek admiration through things like seeking admiration,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

While a significant majority of people found to have narcissistic personality disorder are males, research suggests this figure does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is frequently manifests in the covert form, which is under-identified. Male narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, similar to everything in society,” explains an individual who posts about her co-occurring conditions on social media. Frequently, the two disorders co-occur.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with receiving negative comments and not being accepted,” she explains, “because if I hear that the issue lies with me, I either go into a defensive state or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this reaction – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her close relationships, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘If I say something messed up, if my words are controlling, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures as a child. “I’ve been learning continuously the difference between suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I never had that as a kid,” she comments. There were no boundaries when my relatives were criticizing me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be connected with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting particular demands. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the NPD-diagnosed people, one individual thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old says when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve good grades and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “worthy.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, similar to his experience, struggles with mood stability. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

After a visit to his general practitioner, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for talking therapy via government-funded care (extended treatment is the primary approach that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the patient queue for a year and a half: It was indicated it is expected around early next year.”

He has shared with a small circle about his condition, because “there’s a big stigma that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has come to terms with it. The awareness assists me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he explains. Those interviewed have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of online advocates and the expansion of digital groups suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number